3. McKaa - A Dude of a Kind

I met this dude McKaa at the Peradeniya English Teachers’ College. We were buddies in the same batch, same group, same class and also the same hostel. 

He was small built, short and also short sighted with a halo of curly hair. He either peeped over his glasses with the head tilted forward or squinted through them with the head tilted back for short and long distances vision respectively or the other way around. 

We never referred to him by his real name. He was nicknamed Macbeth first and then ‘beth’ dropped and ‘Mac’ remained which made him jubilant. But it was short lived as he became ‘McKaa’ (flea) to his dismay first and later he had to get used to anyways.

McKaa was a class of his own.  He came from a town in Southern Sri Lanka which was popularly known as Downsouth.

One afternoon I heard him calling another guy whose name now I’ve forgotten.

“Hey Dude, get up, Hey Hey!”

I heard some obscenities muttered sleepily as other guy was mad at him for disturbing his nap.

“Hey, get up dude. Let’s go to Kandy. I want to go to the British Council to return my books.”

I heard more muffled curses followed by more persuasions. McKaa usually has his way in the end. He played his trump card.

“Hey, Listen, I pick up the tab. I buy the bus tickets. I pay for coffees.. All you gotta do is just drag along..”

After some time I heard the bed creaking and some shuffling and the other guy say...

“Then you better pick up the tab, dude, cos, I’m flat broke. And I’m coming ‘cos you won’t let me sleep anyways.”

After that I didn’t hear much as I dozed off into blissful sleep feeling grateful to the other guy for giving in and getting McKaa out of the way.

Later in the evening when we were having tea and smoking before going out for evening walks, McKaa returned with the other dude. McKaa dumped the books and the some shopping bags on the bed. Both were laughing and joking. What McKaa said next turned all the heads.

“Hey Dude, xx.xx  bucks for the bus and xx.xx bucks for the coffee. Total xxx.xx bucks. You have to give me xx.xx, half the total!"

Other dude was speechless for some time. He finally managed to say “W-What?

“You heard me. Let’s share it fifty-fifty."

“You dirty filthy f... asshole, I was trying to nap. You are the ... who was pestering me to go with you and you promised to pick up the whole tab. And I went because of you. I didn’t want to go in the first place.."

He looked at us for support ”Hey Bro, see ..!”

I said, “Hey McKaa I also heard what you said. You are like a stinking politician.”

“This is a total rotten, ungrateful, opportunist shithead!" he was exasperated.

McKaa peeped over his glasses at his victim.

 “That was originally when you agreed to go just because I wanted to and you had no need to go..but..”

“But what?”

McKaa picked up a pair new of socks from the bed and shoved it in the other guy’s face.

“You bought these socks, didn’t you? So you were also benefited by the trip.” McKaa was now grinning and nodding triumphantly.

“...and that makes you eligible to pay half the amount.”

Further conversation was drowned in the commotion that followed.

McKaa is a class of his own.

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