77. SHIT HAPPENS. Nightmare on E01 - Part 2

If you missed the first part of this article Nightmare onE01-the Southern Expressway!, please press here.

I dreamed the luminous markings rushing at me out of the darkness in my sleep that night.  However I called Chunji as soon as I woke up.

76.Nightmare on E01-the Southern Expressway!

I stared incredulously at the dull yellow glow of my headlights reflecting off the aluminum garage door. They looked like two fireflies.  I stepped out and walked in front of the vehicle for the first time. They were like fireflies alright. This was unbelievable! Then the light outside the garage door came on. I got back into the van and waited patiently for the garage door to complete its leisurely upward crawl. Once the doorway was clear I drove in.

75. Welcome Home! - Vacation Tales.

We had started the homeward bound journey early in the morning and after traveling by land, sea and air hauling our heavy baggage through jetties and airports, were quite exhausted. The usual ticketing troubles caused by the reservation errors and many other mishaps that we are destined to have on our return journeys, just to take the thrill of coming home, haven’t been very helpful either. On the way from Katunayaka airport, too, I had to get off the van we had hired airport taxi service, so many times in search of a 5 liter bottle of water. It was past midnight when we reached home as usual. After the taxi departed leaving us home, we hauled the bags into the sitting room. 

The lights were working but the faucets were dry. This wasn’t unusual and all I had to do was to prime the water pump filling the suction line using the last bit of water left in the overhead tank through the special plumbing I have made just for that purpose. In the worst case scenario I have to go to the well, bring a bottle of water and use it to prime the pump. 

I used the LED rechargeable torch we had brought with us to walk through the garden overgrown with weeds and covered with layers of dried leaves. While my wife was dealing with the spider webs and dust inside, my son helped me to deal with the water problem.

Using the water from the overhead tank didn’t help because there didn’t seem to be any. So, I went to the well and brought a bottle of water and started filling the line. Unlike other times the whole bottle of water just disappeared gurgling down the pipeline and never topped up. Five or six 5 liter cans of water later, we decided to use a huge Sheetrock bucket to bring the water. Hauling the bucket from the well was a killing job even though both my son and I were lifting the bucket from two sides. But just because we wanted to get the job done so badly, we ignored the soggy shoes and muddy water creeping up our jeans legs. 

We poured the contents of the entire bucket into the waterline and watched it disappear making gurgling noises. Anyway we switched on the water pump and anxiously waited for the noise of water pouring into the overhead tank. No such luck. The pump was running dry. We switched it off fearing a burnout, running it dry.

“Shall we bring one more bucket of water and try?” I finally asked my son who as disgusted as me.

“We have to get the water running somehow, don’t we? Okay let’s go,” he said.

Bringing another bucket of water was a nightmare but we did it. Not only once. We hauled bucket after bucket of water from the well and poured into the waterline. It never filled up as expected. I suspected the foot valve must be faulty and the water was pouring back into the well. Finally we brought another bucket of water and left it in the bathroom because we couldn’t even flush the toilet.

Wait a minute! I had a priming point under the driveway. Because it used to get damaged by vehicle tires, especially those of tractors and trucks which brought in building materials those days, I had buried it under a layer of concrete. Maybe a leak has sprung there. I got the gardening tools and started digging the driveway while my son shone the flash light beam. After many failed attempts, I managed to dig up the pipe line and find the place covered with the layer of concrete.  I hammered away at the concrete and after a long struggle found that the joint was dry.

At about 5 o’clock in the morning, after struggling to get the water for so many hours, we just flopped on the beds with sweat, dirt and mud and tried to sleep. We had tried to boil some water from the 5 liter water bottle and make some tea, but found the gas cylinder was empty.

I woke up in one hour as this water problem was bothering me. I woke up and tried to fill water one more time. After dawn, I went to two neighbors who were awake now and borrowed two lengths of garden hose to attach to my garden hose to get water from the front house faucet instead of manually hauling water from the well. At the same time bought a gas cylinder from the hardware store next door. Then we boiled some water and managed to have a warm cup of tea. 

The guy who is renting the front house saw me and asked what the problem was. When I explained he said, “Bro, I think your pipeline could be damaged in the middle.” 

“No way? This is a buried along my driveway. It is impossible for that to get damaged. And I checked it digging it up. It sure must be the damn foot valve.”

He wanted to say some more, but obviously changed his mind. He must have been listening to our struggle last night. 

I took a long pole and shook the foot valve underwater. Then tried to fill water this time with the garden hose connected to the faucet of the front house. Still the water gurgled down the pipe and disappeared. I bent into the well and tapped the pipeline to make the ball valve drop down in case it was jammed. The tried again. The same result.

Now my plan was to empty the well, get into it and check and replace the foot valve. I went to the neighbor who rents submersible water pumps. The sign on his door said OPEN, but he was still going through his daily religious rituals prior to business. I walked back home intending to return a little later.

I shook the foot valve one more time and tried to fill the waterline. Same result! Frustrated, I was walking along the driveway back to the well when I noticed the patch of water in the middle of the drive. Well as it had rained the previous day there was water on the drive, but this pool of water was different. I just thought it was growing. I squatted down and watched the edges of the pool of water. Hell! It was growing. I was overwhelmed with relief! At least I found the cause and I don’t have to empty the well!

This place was a few feet away from the place I dug in the night. And I started excavating with a lot of care. And the hole I dug started to fill with muddy water. The water, we have been feeding the pipeline with all night. And what I saw swept me off my feet. The pipeline was severed in the middle. Actually a piece about a foot long was missing. No wonder the water never topped up! And What I saw next made me throw a fit. The other end of the pipeline was neatly blocked with an end cap!

Then I understood. The neighbors have cut down a tree and a falling tree or a stub of a limb has pierced the earth and severed the pipeline. Why the hell nobody told me and save us all the back breaking labor we had last night? Actually the guy next door knew this but didn’t want to get involved. And why the hell didn’t they repair the damage and save us all the trouble?

I walked to my brother in law, who is always there to help. He was back from night duty and was sleeping. The thrill of seeing me didn’t last long when I explained the situation to him. 

“Oh my god!” he said. “Yes, they cut down a tree and a trunk fell on to your driveway severing your pipeline middle. Actually a stub of a branch had pierced the ground. I was the one to fix the end cap. I actually intended to repair that, but I forgot! 

He volunteered to come with me to help me. Together we cleaned the two ends and with an extra length of pipe and PVC Glue and managed to mend it. 

After that I watched the water filling up the line and top up and when I switched on the water pump the note changed and it started to pump water into the overhead tank, the sound of which was sweet music to our ears. I waited eagerly to see the tank fill up and overflow into the garden. 

I opened a faucet and listened to the sweet music the water made splashing the sink singing Welcome home!

Epilogue: 

I looked around the garden. The garbage pit was full of junk. There were broken glasses neatly packed in poly-sacks and left on my toilet pit. There were broken old fashioned four foot florescent lights which we don’t use. Windows glasses we don’t have, glassware we have never seen, perfume bottles we never used. And to top it off, I had huge pile of coconut branches piled up near the staircase from a tree that was cut. And we have no coconut trees. Anyway it was easier to remove than the tree trunks they had piled up last time when we came, which gave us a hell of a time to return to the proper owners. It was nice to be back anyway.

Simulblogged in  මගේ ඩෙනිම in Sinhala Language.

74. PANIC ATTACK!

PANIC ATTACK!

30^th Aug 2013 2200Hrs

The flight EY0279 (call sign ETD279) has just disappeared from the live flight radar screen.  All of us had watched this AIRBUS A320 taking off at 2025hrs from Malé International Airport and climbing at 2000fpm on the live flight radar on the laptop screen. Once the aircraft gained 40000ft, we disconnected the data connection and went to have dinner as this was a 04 hour 15 minute flight to Abu Dhabi which is 3025 kilometers away.

61.Yala Adventure - Stuck In An Elephant Crossing!

I swung the wheel to the left to avoid the water-logged potholes on the causeway. Suddenly, without warning, the offside of the van tilted wildly and sank into the earth with a tremendous crash and a thud and explosion. Everyone screamed. When I stepped out, I realized the driver's side was unnaturally higher than normal and the front wheel was jutting out of the wheel bay at an unusual angle.

I walked around the front to have a look. Deepa was already out and examining the damage. The left hand side of the bumper was resting on the concrete. The concrete under the offside wheel had caved in. The vehicle was balanced on the lower suspension arm resting on the concrete. As the wheel crashed through the concrete, the good Bridgestone tire I had on that wheel had burst leaving a gaping hole through which I could push my hand through, which also explained the explosion we heard.

And the crash of the concrete giving way, and the thud as the suspension arm hitting the concrete with the total weight of the fully loaded van plus the forward momentum, and the explosion of the tire all accounted for the blood curdling noise. The van was stuck in the concrete.

And what I saw next brought me out in a cold sweat. I was standing on a steaming heap of elephant dung.

 We were stuck in the middle of an elephant crossing!  And, this was the time they cross!

This incident took place two years back. We were visiting ‘Yala National Wildlife Park’ in the southeastern tip of the island. Actually, we were on one of our ‘road trips’, where we plot plans on the go.  After visiting Kataragama, we had decided to visit Yala as well.

Those who have been to Yala National Park must be aware that only certain classes of vehicles with enough ground clearance are permitted in the Park. Actually the 4X4 are the ideal vehicles for that terrain.  They form convoys of about ten vehicles, which are accompanied by a guide. As it was the end of December, the trails were damaged by the rain. There were huge pools of muddy water in the middles of the rutted tracks.

And we were very much disappointed as that day there weren’t enough wild animals to be seen as we expected.

And, if you have had the experience you would know that driving in the middle of convoy presents certain problems. If you drive alone, over a track with an uneven surface full of potholes, you wouldn’t speed over them. You would use caution when crossing the muddy pools with unknown depths.  However, here the leading 4X4 light vehicle with the Guide onboard would speed over the broken track forcing the normal street vehicles like ours, which are fully loaded also to follow suit at the same speed.

So, the vehicles suffer a lot beating hurtling over the broken trails. My fiber engine guard underneath the engine dislodged on one side knocking on an edge of a pothole and was being dragged along all the way. I couldn’t warn the guide as honking, stopping or getting out of vehicle is not allowed.  The engine guard had taken quite a beating as I later discovered.

It was after dusk when we returned to the ticketing office where I crept under the vehicle and removed the guard and put it into the back of the vehicle. By the time, we set on our 12 kilometer journey over the rutted track through the wild to the main road, all the other vehicles had left and we were alone. And on this road, there are several causeways.

I swung the wheel to the left to avoid the water-logged potholes on the causeway. Suddenly, without warning, the offside of the van tilted wildly and sank into the earth with a tremendous crash and a thud and explosion. Everyone screamed. When I stepped out, I realized the driver's side was unnaturally higher than normal and the front wheel was jutting out of the wheel bay at an unusual angle.

I walked around the front to have a look. Deepa was already out and examining the damage. The left hand side of the bumper was resting on the concrete. The concrete under the offside wheel had caved in. The vehicle was balanced on the lower suspension arm resting on the concrete. As the wheel crashed through the concrete, the good Bridgestone tire I had on that wheel had burst leaving a gaping hole through which I could push my hand through, which also explained the explosion we heard.

And the crash of the concrete giving way, and the thud as the suspension arm hitting the concrete with the total weight of the fully loaded van plus the forward momentum, and the explosion of the tire all accounted for the blood curdling noise. The van was stuck in the concrete.

And what I saw next brought me out in a cold sweat. I was standing on a steaming heap of elephant dung.

We are stuck in the middle of an elephant crossing!  And, this is the time they cross!

First, I tried to calm everyone down although I didn’t feel so myself.  That day in addition to my family, there were others like my sister’s family, my mother, a cousin, and a friend of our son’s.  So, we had enough manpower and woman power as well!

Though I was asking everyone not to panic, my subconscious mind was screaming that we were stuck in an elephant crossing at the wrong time.

And let me explain, for the benefit of those who know about Sri Lankan causeways and wondering how on Earth could a causeway collapse.  And also for those who don’t know what a Sri Lankan causeway is in the first place.

Causeway is a bridge where a waterway and a highway cross each other at the same level.  In other words, the water flows across the road in the middle of the causeway.  The road descends  downwards a slanting concrete ramp to meet the water flowing across over a flat bed of concrete and then ascends along another upward slanting concrete ramp on the opposite end. The water flows over only when the water level is high in flash floods. In normal dry weather, the water is tunneled across under the flatbed.

So the chances of a flatbed collapsing is very remote as it rests firmly on the earth and not suspended like a normal bridge.

In this special case, the zero maintenance of the ancient concrete, together with decades of constant exposure to the elements had led to structural failure. Not only were there potholes on the flatbed, the flash floods had also carved under the concrete slab leaving it suspended unsupported at certain places. Unfortunately, my front offside wheel was passing over one such weak point when the concrete gave way resulting in a cave in, trapping it there, making us stranded in the middle of an elephant crossing!

After I got everybody to calm down, we thought of the operation at hand.

“First we’ve got to take the vehicle out of the pothole freeing the wheel,” I said.  “It’s dangerous to push it forward. So let’s push it backwards.”

So while some of us heaved the van out of the hole others it  pushed backwards. 

It didn’t work. It was stuck.

Then we changed the strategy.

“Let’s use the engine power, “I said. “Few of you please get into the back of the van to weigh it down for better friction as the back is up.”

“And as I’m all muscle like Schwarzenegger, I’ll try to lift the wheel off the hole, who’s going to reverse the van?” I joked.

Chunji, my brother-in-law said, “You get to the driver’s seat, We’ll do the lifting.”

So Deepa, being the muscle man’s wife, gritted her teeth and went to lift the van. While a few were pushing back slightly, others were heaving the front left side of the van by the edge of the wheel bay, window and door frames and all the surfaces possible to take a grip on. While they rocked and heaved, I shifted into reverse and let in the clutch while stepping smoothly on the accelerator.

At the beginning, nothing happened.

But, in a few seconds, the wheel climbed out of the hole. I was careful to hit brakes as soon as I was safely out of the trap as our guys were all over the vehicle body in various postures. After they moved out of the way, I backed the van up over to a safer place.

One major step was over. So far, so good.

Next is to change the wheel. I had recently bought this sporty alloy rim set and to my dismay, the rim of damaged wheel had also suffered some scratches.

I shone the flashlight on the undercarriage and checked for visible damages. The brake hoses and pipes were intact and no visible brake fluid leaks. The sump was not leaking oil. But  the lower suspension arm was dented. The wheel alignment must be shot. So once the wheel is changed we’ll be on the move.

Chunji and I brought the spare wheel, wheel brace and the jack and lever to the front.

Just then, a tractor came rattling along out of the dark and pulled up parallel to us. The driver climbed off.  We were jubilant about this god sent Good Samaritan but this feeling didn’t last long as the dude seemed to be drunk like a skunk and could barely keep standing.

“What’sh the problem shir?” he asked.

I kicked the heap of elephant dung out of the way so that I could kneel down to place the jack underneath and explained the situation to him.

The dude punctuated my speech with his swearing.

“You need any help, shir?”

“Yeah, you could have been a lot of help if you arrived a bit earlier.  We practically lifted the van put of that hole.” I said while Chunji was placing chocks under the wheels. I loosened the wheel nuts.

“Can you shine your headlights on this job?”

“Ooopsh, these lights are not bright enough,” he said.

“Okay. No problem.”

“Holy shit, This is the @$%$#& elephant crossing. You’d better change that fast and get the hell outta here”

“Dude, that’s what I’m trying to do,” I said looking for a suitable spot to place the jack.

“Shtep back shir. I can do it.”

“Don’t worry. I can do it.”

“Shtep back shir. I’m @#$%&^ mechanic.”

So I ‘shtepped back’ because he was supposed to be a mechanic. All I wanted was to get the job done, by hook or crook. However, I was watchful because the dude was stupid drunk. And of course he was trying to jack up the engine sump.

“Dude, don’t jack up the sump.  It’ll be damaged. Jack up the axel.”

“There ishn’t enough room under the akshel.

“But don’t jack up the sump. That jack must be lowered. Give it to me”

“I am a @#$%&^ mechanic. Don’t try t o teach me about @#$&^% jacksh!”

He pulled the jack out, clung on to the side of the van for support and climbed on to the jack to weigh it down. The jack didn’t budge. A stream of abuse poured out of his mouth.

“But when you twist this valve and get on to it, it won’t do the trick because this is not a hydraulic jack. It is a mechanical one. You have to twist the handle the opposite way to lower it.”

“Are you bonkers shir?  When you looshen this thingy and get on to this, thish,  it’sh gotta come down. I know my jacksh.”

We persuaded the dude to step back and chunji and I got the wheel changed.

He was becoming more of a hindrance than help by the minute. If it wasn’t for him, we would have been through by this time.

“Where are you from shir? Colombo?”

To dudes from these remote parts anywhere in the Western Province was Colombo. Moreover, it was a convenient answer, too.

I put damaged wheel in the back of the van.

“Cool. Where about in Colombo?”

“Anderson Flats, Narahenpita.”

“Fantabuloush! I’m planning to come to Colombo neksht week.  Gimme your phone number, shir.”

Come on. Gimme a break!

“456123,” I invent these kind of numbers for situations like this for its easily repeatable pattern.

“What the hell kind of number ish that? That’sh a fake number ishn’t it?”

“Why the hell should I do that, when you stopped by and volunteered to help us?”

“Okay, Ish thish Mobitel or Dialog?”

I returned the jack, wheel brace and levers to the back of the van and slammed the door shut.

“That’s Tigo 072.”

The dude pulled his cell phone out and was fumbling with the keys to add it to contacts.

“072… where the@#$% ish thish goddamn zero?”

I was now getting pissed off at this dude for his swearing and cursing, irrespective of the ladies and children. And the kids were broadening their horizons on their vocabulary and language usage.

“Hang on a second,” I said to my sister.  “Would you please write this number on a piece of paper for him?”

“Okay tell me,” she said with the pencil poised.

“Why? Write my number will you? 072 456 123.”

She wrote it for him.

“Shir, gimme a ring to check if this is genuine.”

“What the hell is this? Dude, my phone battery is dead.”

“Okay, as shoon as I arrive in Colombo, I’m gonna call you, okay.”

“Sure dude, I’ll be there to pick you up.”

I walked around the van to check if we were leaving anything behind.

I sighed with relief when the engine started.

“Shir, then I’m gonna call you. And when you were shtranded in our territory I helped you, and when I come to your territory, you return the favor, okay?” he screamed.

“Of course, why ever not?  Consider it’s done. Thanks very much dude. Then Bye,”

I shifted into first and let in the clutch. The van started climbing the concrete ramp.

“Oh, my god. The wild elephant would’ve been better.  He was a real pain in the lower regions.”

“That’s what. And the way he was cur…” Chunji’s voice was drowned because everybody started scolding that dude at the same time. Only my mother who was hard of hearing when she is not wearing the hearing aid, and she lacked the technical knowhow to understand what damage the dude was really trying to do said, 

“There are still good Samaritans like that, who would go out of their way to help the needed.”

I realized the van was pulling to s side as soon as we were on the level road.

I later realized it was just because I had mismatching alloy and the normal wheel at the front, though I wanted to mount the spare wheel to the alloy rim, all the tire workshops were closed for the night.

Actually what I should have done was to have exchanged the spare wheel to one of the rear alloy wheels and have matching wheels at the front.  I didn’t have the right mentality to think this up partly because of that wild elephant threat and partly because that dude was driving me nuts.

Finally, we reached home in the small hours of the morning. And I love that vehicle for not letting us down, no matter what.

And this heron must be it!

And what my mother said later, “Tch, even though you underwent all that trouble and spent so much to go to Yala and see the animals, all I saw was a common heron”

This immediately became a hit with my son.

The tire a few hours before the incident

This post is simulblogged in Sinhala @: මගේ ඩෙනිම and මට හිතෙන හැටි