4. THOSE COOL SECURITY DUDES

I used to be a customer at the People’s Bank, Queen Street Branch which occupied the ground floor of that famous landmark The Ceylinco Building. That was before the Central Bank was bombed and the whole area became a high security zone. Then the bank was moved to another location. Even though I used the ATM for withdrawals I used to visit the bank building for other transactions.

That day as usual I parked right outside the bank building and walked into the bank. As I was a regular customer for a reasonable length of time I knew most of the security guards and they knew me, too. After the exchange of usual greetings I went to the table where the blank forms were and picked up the slips I wanted and started filling them.

It was then that I became aware of the unbearable and unmistakable stench of dog poo. The building was air conditioned and the stench was becoming worse by the minute. Now everyone was looking around for the source of the offensive odor when I made a remark to the customer next to me who seemed to be equally puzzles and wrinkling the nose. “Some dude seems to have brought in a real juicy lump of muck!”  He nodded his agreement.

Now the security guards seemed to galvanize into action and I saw them speaking rapidly into their walkie talkies. Then in a matter of few minutes cleaning crew arrived with a battery of heavy artillery to wage war against the dog poo. In a little while the bank lobby sprang into a beehive of activity.

“Operation Dog Shit” I said to the dude next to me and both of us laughed.

Then I saw the lump on the doormat and the traces of it fading away into the bank. Now the cleaning operation was in full swing with steam pressure washers, vacuum cleaners, driers and the lot. In a little while the air became heavy with the smell of detergent, then carpet shampoo and finally air freshener. I saw one security guard go outside into the parking area and return. Then he said in a low tone to his buddy, “It’s the gentleman who came on the motorbike!” I heard it because I was closer to them filling my forms on an empty writing surface. Now the air had become breathable once again!

After I finished I walked out. And the ever friendly security guards greeted me, “Good bye, sir. Come Again!’ I greeted back and walked into the parking space. Then it hit me. Mine was the only motorbike in the lot! And yes there was the lump of juicy dog poo just by my bike which I had stepped onto as I had got off the bike. I slowly checked the bottom of my left shoe. There it was still lodged between the treads staring at me.

And the nicest thing is, all those security dudes knew it was me but none of them gave away even the slightest hint even with a stray glance towards me saving my dignity. Not even when we greeted each other on my way out with the remains of the poo still stuck at the bottom of my shoe. Those guys were real professionals. And cool dudes!